Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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