filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You made out with two different species that night
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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