It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
