i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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