I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just cut my nipple shaving
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
