Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
