ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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