just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
