She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
