with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize