Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He did a backflip because drugs
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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