Tell her she can't have a vagina
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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