yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
