I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize