some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
