all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
