His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it was like eating out sand paper
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
