Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You ruined the universe
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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