just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize