I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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