that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
