ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
