Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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