My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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