the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
