The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
