I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
