I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
