Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
