Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
