No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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