How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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