The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
