I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
