The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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