Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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