I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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