i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
