did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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