Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
