On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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