I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
