you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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