Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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