Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
