dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
