ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
