Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
