haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
