is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
