we have officially lost it.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
