How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have fence marks all over my body
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize