If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
