Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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