I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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