Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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