how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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