Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
