its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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