you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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